Saturday, December 31, 2016

Saying goodbye

It's New Years Eve.  It's not just the year that I'm saying goodbye to, It's my dad.  This has been the most difficult time of my life!  My dad... the man who always believed in me, taught me so much and loved all of us unconditionally - is gone. We lost him on December 23, 2016

I know most girls look up to their dad as the strongest man in the world, who can do anything, and no one can measure up.  Well... He was all of those things and more.

He shared his love of music, standards and jazz!  As a little girl I remember him playing either the piano or guitar and singing the songs that are now part of the fabric of my everyday life.  

He lived 84 years - and boy did he live.  Even though the last 10 years of his life were slowly robbed from him because of Alzheimers his life was adventurous.

He wasn't a risk taker like me (I think I made him nervous) but with his job he was able to travel the world and work on some exciting projects.  He played in a band.  He provided a comfortable life for his wife of 60 years and raised 4 kids. He shot pool like a shark, had a great sense of humor and as my cousin said, "He was the smartest man" that she'd ever met!

It's the everyday memories that I'll hold on to, like eating cinnamon and sugar toast as we watched classic horror movies late at night while everyone else was sleeping, washing the family car together as he asked me how school was going, and near the end, on the days that we knew me, I mean really knew me, he called me by name - " There's Brenda Jane" - as I walked through the door.  Even on the days that  he wasn't sure exactly who I was, he still sensed that he needed to watch over me. As I kissed him goodbye he would ask, "how's your car running" and "when will I see you again?"
Always the dad - Always the protector!

So as I say goodbye to 2016, I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same - but don't worry Dad... the car's running fine and I'll see you tomorrow! (Either in my memories or dreams - but I'll see you!)


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